goodbyes

"Mark" was a friend of mine. Not for alot of years, but we had recently caught-up spending several hours talking about life and our struggles over breakfast and almost lunch. He was very sad about his life's circumstances and yet seemed somewhat determined to make it through. I had talked to him several times on Sundays either before or after the celebration each week for over a month. He had shown up a few times at a men's Bible study that I'm in, early in the morning, during the week.
"Mark" was having marriage issues to the point that it looked like the mariage wouldn't survive. Mark talked about the fact that he still loved his soon to be ex-wife and the children that were still young. He was really confused about life and love and God, like any of us would be.
One deeply dark day, "Mark's" dispair got the best of him and he suddenly and tragically ended his own life. I found out early the next morning, the day I was leaving for Mexico.
There were so many questions and tears.
There are so many more to come for those closest to him.

I have a hard time understanding that level of dispair. Not that I haven't had seasons of dispair myself, because I have, but to convince yourself that death is more bearable that life, for me, is a tough one to swallow.

Pray for his family.
If you find yourself overcome with life, please seek help now.

Goodbye, my friend.