Paddle Grace

The Student Ministries interns and I led a canoe trip down the upper Black River today. Along with us was a young man, 17, who about ten years ago was in an accident that severely limits his ability to move and communicate. He is a great kid who loves life for the most part and desires to be accepted as normal. There were 12 of us on the river, including Joseph, seven high school students and five adults. Two of the adults were aides that care for Joseph. What I witnessed today was a dramatic display of the goodness of God. The mercy and grace that God pours out into our lives moment by moment was clear as the blue summer sky.

Joseph is dependant on people around him to give him care, protection, nourishment. Students who don’t really know him all that well were carrying him by the arm, talking to him loving him. At one pressure filled moment when his canoe tipped people were diving in the murky river to stabilize his watercraft. His head was lifted out of the water, his canoe was kept from sinking, he was carried up the bank and then a long way to his special van. He was burned from the sun, coughed up a little river water, lips chapped from the ultraviolet rays and wind, smelly yet he was laughing. He was laughing! And for some reason beyond my understanding, a group of American teenagers got beyond themselves and loved, really loved. Loved like Jesus would love Joseph and I witnessed it all. At the end of the day I sat in the van getting ready to load the canoes for the trip home and I cried. Thank you Jesus for letting me see you today.

Success and Failure

Well last night’s modified softball game was a real test for me, actually the whole day stunk and the game was just the icing on the crap cake of a day. The game was a good game. We had been down like 9-1 at one point and should not have been. We had kicked the ball around making errors and hadn’t been hitting well either. We managed to claw our way back into the game and tie it at 11 in the last inning. So we went to extra innings and they scored 2. We came up and scored one, then had runners on second and third. Now guess who came up next? Yep, me. With a 3 ball-1 strike count I swung at a pitch that I should have let go by and I popped it up to the second baseman to end the game. Failure.
The whole day I had been dealing with the same type of issues: What do I do with the times that I fail, screw up or just don’t make the grade? These are intense feelings that can dominate my thinking. They can put my day, week and whole world into a tailspin that wreaks havoc on so much of life. Why do we believe in the lie of performance? Why do we measure our worth with things that, in the end, don’t matter all that much. Why is it so hard to trust the truth of who we are, to hear the soft voice of acceptance that whispers a love song in our ears?
My beautiful wife Connie sent me a precious email that really encouraged me. I think that God used it to hit me upside the head with the truth that I will never be more loved by Him because of what I do, or less loved because of my failures. Success!

Vapor Life

So my job has changed a bit recently. I am diving back into youth ministry, half time, for another season and as I was preparing for our parents summer kick off gathering it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was taking a walk through the building where our Church celebrates and the lights were off. I had just spent several hours on the computer finalizing a calendar and had taken a walk around the dark auditorium. As I paused I pressed my back up against a wall and a deep sense of something uncomfortable washed over me.
I love kids, I love playing with students and listening to their wild ideas and silliness. I love their energy and undiscovered potential. I love running and sweating and seeing God wake them from their spiritual fog. I love all of it. And I also have loved every year having my children involved at some level. My youngest is graduating in less than two weeks and in the fall he will no longer be in the youth group. This will be the first time since 1993 that I haven’t had a child in my youth ministry and that is a bit weird for me. For the most part they have been my partners in this crazy life of student ministry. Jennifer and all of her boundless energy, Matthew and his inquisitive creativity and Ryan and his big heart have really been a blessing to me.
This getting old thing has been subject of a few of my blogs lately. I didn’t even intentionally sit down to write this tonight, it has just foamed over the edge of the cup.
What an honor and privilege it has been to see God work in them and others. Now it is time to raise up another generation of people who will passionately live for Jesus and this time it doesn’t include any of my children, but if I get to keep at it long enough maybe a grandchild will come along… kidding!