ID'd

Gleaned from surveillance cameras….

It looks like we have finally indentified the crooks that have goose napped Lucy from our front porch.

The three criminals have rap sheets as long as your arm. This picture was taken from a hidden camera behind a two-way mirror. The crimi-gals must have thought that they were so cute too.

On the left is Roselyn “Boom-Boom” Pooter wanted in ten states and four providences in Canada, she even looks like a Goose-napper! She is infamous for her milk bag thievery and cow tipping.

In the middle is Adrianne “Pow-Wow in the Tepee” Wilton, we are not certain what her role in the Goose-Napping ring is. But we do know that the FBI wants to talk to her about an illegal locker-boxing ring that she is involved with as well as countless petty theft charges.

On the right, with the hat is Brittany “LuPita” Bennet. Bennet is wanted across the country for posing as a basketball player. She is also wanted in California for pretending to be Dakota Fanning during a scam trying to sell fake autographs of the child star. What got Bennet busted was her finger prints were discovered on the crayon that was used to forge the signatures. It is estimated that $153.00 was stolen from old ladies attending a church bazaar. She is a heartless criminal of the worst kind.

Keep your eye out for these criminals. more to come!

Goosed!

Hey this is serious! Our family goose, “Lucy,” was goose-napped last night by a band of sadistic criminals. They left a ransom note but no picture. So what may help is if everyone who reads this blog please call the goose-nappers and plead for Lucy’s life to be sparred. I’m not sure how they wrestled the 100 lb cement goose into their car, which mysteriously had Canadian plates on it! Maybe it’s all a mistake and they thought Lucy was a Canadian Goose, but no she was made in good old china, like everything in America these days! Return Lucy Alive For Goodness Sake! Please everyone call the goose-nappers and leave a message at 1-810-334-0872

LET LUCY LIVE! LET LUCY LIVE! LET LUCY LIVE!

Above Picture of Lucy - modeling some new clothes, taken recently.